Friday, October 14, 2005

All hail Zippy

Having moved from Illinois to West Virginia, Jeff and I decided to cash out of the small (very small) amount that we had in our Illinois Teachers Retirement fund, built up by our need to teach at the local community colleges to supplement our meager grad school income (although I am remembering that income fondly right now!). And so we requested the paperwork and sent it off to SURS and knowing government bureaucracy, expected it to take about 30-40 days. But of course we underestimated both the effectiveness of government and the ability of our right honorable governor of Illinois, Ron B, who will heretofore be renamed Zippy the pinhead. It all began earlier this week when I phoned said government office to check on our process, and was told that because of Zippy’s new law, all of the member benefits would have to be calculated by hand. I said BY HAND!!!! Maybe it’s me that finds in our world of technology and computers that calculating anything by hand is asinine. I mean what the hell did Bill Gates do for us if not make our life a bit easier with the advent of the computer. I don’t even calculate grades by hand, I have a computer program that does that!! I know that there are people who constantly complain about computers taking over and the inability of people to do even the simplest task without computers and this will lead to the downfall of society…blahblahblah…those people are communists. I am sure that there is someone (not me) who can hand calculate the distance to the moon (I repeat again, not me) but a computer can do it in.25 seconds! So why, in the name of God and all that’s holy, would Zippy require every retirement fund to be calculated by hand? Way to go Zippy! Way to alienate once again the people who put you in office!!!!!

Of course I should not be surprised at Zippy, this is the same man who ran on an education platform and then turned around and ignored any and all campaign promises that he made. Zippy was so concerned with teacher shortages that he cut funding to the public colleges and universities, effectively cutting funding to the places that turn out new teachers… is this logical? Then he makes the best announcement ever, that the state will stop matching retirement funds for professors for three…no five…no seven years!!!! All of this to the people who campaigned and voted him into office!!! Every time that I think about voting for this guy I must raise a first in the air in C-like defiance. But I won’t make that mistake again, believe me if the Illinois Democratic party is stupid enough to run this guy again I might vote republican, wait, I won’t go that far, maybe I’ll just abstain. Although on second thought I won’t be a resident of Illinois anymore, so I will just encourage others not to vote for him. It won’t be much work for my teacher mother, and I won’t even count my republican in-laws. But I will continue my crusade against Zippy until the bitter end!


Anonymous said...

Hi Sweety , Don't sweat the small stuff. I know I will never vote for Zippy either. I can understand your frustration, after all I am the one whose own mortage company asked if I had heard of hurricane Kattrina. Now I consider my self a well educated person, I read and listen to the news and what that had to do with them being able to help me or give me information I'll never know. It all sounds like more repulican cover up of their ineptness(sorry mom and dad P.). It's all a smoke screen so no one can see their inability to do their jobs.( hello Huricane Kattrina, Femma Federal Government, people without cars can NOT evacuate.Okay I'm off my soap box. Love you Mom

Anonymous said...

Jess, I don't want to alarm you but the Chicago Tribune last Friday ran an article about a professer who was denied tenure because of a blog we was writing. Please take a look at it on line if you can. I'm just worried mostly about your lack of restraint when you start on your bandwagon.( You are so good at getting your point accross ) He may not be the best but look where we came from (George Rayn)!!!!!!!! How scary is that!
Talk to you soon

Anonymous said...

Dear Blogger,
My name is Governor Blagojevich and I want you to know that I am working aggressively to restore the your confidence in Illinois state government. My focus has always been and always will be to create jobs, build stronger communities, and provide Illinois families the tools they need to improve their lives. Therefore, after reading your blog, I was completely shocked at your reaction to my governorship and my feelings were really hurt. And, I feel that is essential that I share what I am trying to for you and the rest of Illinois, for that matter.
Please understand that my highest priority has always been to improve the quality of education in Illinois. Over the first three years of my administration I worked hard to ensure education funding increased by nearly $2.3 billion, which made Illinois the top rated state in the Midwest for its increase in education funding. This past legislative session I fulfilled my 3-year, $90 million plan to send 25,000 more children to pre-school. Pre-K Now, a leading national early childhood advocacy group, ranks Illinois among the top states in the nation for early childhood education. The only reason why I changed laws to require your retirement funds to be calculated by hand was that I sold the state’s calculators to boost by plan from $89,999,600 to an even $90 million. As you can see, the $400 dollars we received on E-bay went a long way for needy preschoolers.
My past leadership also speaks volumes. In 1996, I was elected to represent Illinois’ 5th District in the U.S. House of Representatives. In Congress, I distinguished myself as an advocate for education, beating republicans quest for world domination and securing funding for after-school tutoring programs.
I hope you understand that my heart is in this position and my fight is for education. Reading blogs that refer to me as “Zippy the pinhead” cut into the fabric of my soul – the moral fabric that binds me to your service. Governor Blagojevich is a real person with real feelings. I am a sensitive man who wishes nothing more than to serve you in a manner that will earn your respect. Given that you are a fellow democrat, I think you must understand.

The real reason why I felt the need to respond is that from your blog, I can tell that you have an education behind you and we are closer in mind that might think. I was born December 10, 1956 on the Northwest side of Chicago, and still remain true to my blue color Chicago Cubs roots (Although I could be considered a “flip-flopper” given the Sox craze in Chicago). I worked hard and graduated from Northwestern University in 1979. Later I earned my law degree from Pepperdine School of Law in 1983. My wife and I, Patti, have two daughters, 8-year-old Amy and 2-year-old Annie. You can see that I am a real person with a skin thin to personal insults.

Please don’t call me zippy anymore, and I will do my best personally to hand calculate your funds.


Governor Blagojevich


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